To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
