I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
