at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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