try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
