I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
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So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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