is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
