Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
