Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
