I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
