and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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