My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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