Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
