miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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