Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
