his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize