her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
