strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
