Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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