He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
