I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
