If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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