I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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