I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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