i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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