I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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