1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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