i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel