@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole