I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
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On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.