You can't motorboat a personality
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park