that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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