5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
