Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
