Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's never too late to be topless.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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