well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Randomize
