I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season