Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.