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There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
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