sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.