no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays