Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship