even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE