Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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