i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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