I smell stomach acid.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
