Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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