I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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