'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize