Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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