I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
