Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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