bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
