omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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