so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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