Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize