you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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