I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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