In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
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she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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