Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
two words: eviction party
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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