What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
