Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
