Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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