a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
