bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
