like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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