Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
