Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
