i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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