Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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