come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
