I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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