the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize