Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
