I think i peed on brittanys purse
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
