I could have mohawked her pubes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
